Resources
Domestic Violence
Understanding Domestic Violence
Abuse isn’t always visible. It can include controlling behaviors, threats, isolation from loved ones, verbal attacks, or withholding money or necessities. No matter the form it takes, domestic violence is about one person trying to control another. If you’re experiencing abuse, you are not alone and it’s not your fault.
Domestic Abuse Warning Signs
Knowing the signs of abuse can help you recognize it in your own life or support someone else. Common red flags include:
- Extreme jealousy or possessiveness
- Constant criticism or belittling
- Isolation from family or friends
- Threats of harm or self-harm
- Monitoring your phone, location, or spending
- Physical harm or the threat of violence
Why People Stay
Fear
A person will likely be afraid of the consequences if they decide to leave their relationship, either out of fear of their partner’s actions or concern over their own ability to be independent.
Normalized Abuse
If someone grew up in an environment where abuse was common, they may not know what healthy relationships look like. As a result, they may not recognize that their partner’s behaviors are unhealthy or abusive.
Shame
It can be difficult for someone to admit that they’ve been or are being abused. They may feel that they’ve done something wrong, that they deserve the abuse, or that experiencing abuse is a sign of weakness. Remember that blame-shifting is a common tactic that their partner may use and can reinforce a sense of responsibility for their partner’s abusive behaviors.
Intimidation
A survivor may be intimidated into staying in a relationship by verbal or physical threats, or threats to spread information, including secrets or confidential details (i.e. revenge porn etc). For LGBTQ+ people who haven’t come out yet, threats to out someone may be an opportunity for abusive partners to exert control.
Lack of Resources
Survivors may be financially dependent on their abusive partner or have previously been denied opportunities to work, a place to sleep on their own, language assistance, or a network to turn to during moments of crisis. These factors can make it seem impossible for someone to leave an abusive situation.
Low Self-Esteem
After experiencing verbal abuse or blame for physical abuse, it can be easy for survivors to believe those sentiments and believe that they’re at fault for their partner’s abusive behaviors.
Disability
If someone depends on other people for physical support, they may feel that their well-being is directly tied to their relationship; a lack of visible alternatives for support can heavily influence someone’s decision to stay in an abusive relationship if they have a disability.
Immigration Status
People who are undocumented may fear that reporting abuse will affect their immigration status. If they have limited English proficiency, these concerns can be amplified by a confusing and convoluted legal system and an inability to express their circumstances to others.
Children
Many survivors may feel guilty or responsible for disrupting their familial unit. Keeping the family together may not only be something that a survivor may value, but may also be used as a tactic by their partner used to guilt a survivor into staying.
Love
Experiencing abuse and feeling genuine care for a partner who is causing harm are not mutually exclusive. Survivors often still have strong, intimate feelings for their abusive partner. They may have children together, want to maintain their family, or the person abusing them may simply be charming (especially at the beginning of a relationship) and the survivor may hope that their partner will return to being that person.
Reporting Options
In Colorado, survivors of domestic violence have three reporting options:
Law Enforcement Report
A survivor chooses to obtain a medical forensic exam and chooses to participate in the criminal justice system.
Medical Report
A survivor chooses to obtain a medical forensic exam but not to participate in the criminal justice system. Evidence and survivor-identifying information is released to law enforcement. The survivor can choose to have evidence tested.
Anonymous Report
A survivor chooses to obtain a medical forensic exam but not participate in the criminal justice system. Evidence is released to law enforcement without survivor-identifying information. An anonymous reporting survivor is consenting to evidence storage only.
Our advocates can help explain your rights, connect you to resources, and accompany you through any next steps, all while honoring your privacy and choices.
You Are Not Alone
If you or someone you know needs help navigating domestic violence, our trained advocates are available 24/7 to provide support and guidance. Our service is always free and confidential, day or night. Call 303-679-2426.